Sensible Saturday / Sunday

I don't know about you but the weekends are hard for me. I can throw away all my good work in 2/3 days and not give it a second thought. I can eat take away, drink wine, eat crisps and not think twice about my diet.

I tell myself I can start again on Monday, I can starve myself Mon - Wed and not see too much damage on the scales. I can pretend I deserve the blow out cause I lost a lb or two. I can go into complete denial and not give a damn.

So this weekend I decided to be sensible. I made yummy fruit salads, drank lots of water, stocked up on low fat healthy alternatives if I did want to snack on crisps or a biscuit. I ate smaller portions on my new smaller dinner plate. I went for a walk on Saturday - 2.61 mile in 60 mins pushing MillyMooMoo in her travel system (must get a lighter pushchair before I do myself some damage!).

So I've got to remember if the scales are not my friend on Wednesday not to be disheartened. Not to give up. I will see the rewards in future weeks. I will drop lbs. I will lose weight and get healthy. I will stay positive. I will stay focused. I will see 199lb before the end of April.

Why, oh why?

Did I have that Chinese last night?

Did I have half that chocolate egg this afternoon?

Did I skip dinner and end up having 4 rounds of white bread / toast instead?

Did I have that chocolate biscuit with my tea tonight?

I think it was because Husband was away and two of the kids were staying with my sister, so I just kicked back. That would be OK if I didn't have so much weight to loose. If I didn't have so much work to do on getting myself fit.

I'm now upset that I let myself down. Angry that I threw away any willpower I had started to nurture and will probably have to built it up again.

Thinking hard about this behaviour I now understand why my weight yo-yo's so much week to week. In the last 10 weeks I've dropped -4.2lb. I am happy with that but at the same time, in the back of my mind, I know I could put nearly all that back on in one week, on a blow out like I just had today. This makes me feel physically sick. I could spiral downward further if I let this feeling take hold or I can try to do something about it - turn it into a positive.

I can reach for the water bottle tonight.

Plan to walk this weekend.

Eat healthy from now to Wednesday and hopefully the scales won't show too much damage.

Don't beat myself up over this slip up.

Wednesday Weigh In

Down -2.2lb on last week. Happy with this given the Easter holidays.

I'm not getting out walking, finding it hard with the kids being off school, doing family stuff etc. Husband is off to Liverpool in the morning, leaving me on my own with the 3 girls Thursday & Friday. Will try to get out at least once before the end of the week. To make up for this, Husband is off work next week and the kids go back to school. This should free up some 'me time' and I'll be walking my butt off!

My eating is good but I know I could be doing better. Using the smaller dinner plate is helping (with portion control anyway). Need to plan a bit better. Need to eat more fruit & veg.

Drinking water became part of my daily routine again at the weekend. I've missed it, just didn't realise it!

For the first time in a long time, I think 199lb is within my reach. I don't think I'll make it by my birthday on the 15th, as I'd have liked but possibly by the end of April. I didn't realise how much I really wanted it. I see it now as an achievable goal.

Dailymile

I joined Dailymile yesterday and set out on my first walk tonight, pushing the baby in the pram too!

I was glad I went out, glad I got started again but totally paranoid too. I kept thinking everyone in cars coming towards me were laughing at my red face and everyone in cars coming behind me were laughing at big ass. Despite this, I was buzzing when I got home. I walked 2 mile in 40 mins. It's a start, a positive start - just to keep it up now.

Wednesday Weigh In

Up 2.4lb on last week. Not good. But what do you expect when you put in zero effort! (Hence the title of the post - should make me more accountable).

I really need to get serious if I want to see 'onederland'. I've not that much to lose to reach my first target and at this stage I can only imagine how wonderful it will feel to see & stay below 200lb.

It's my birthday in two weeks. Could I lose 8lb by then? If not, I really want it off by the end of the month.

I need to set some goals for April. I need to :-

Drink water

Eat fruit

Get active

Keep food journal

Stop eating out

Start cooking more - try new recipes, at least one / two per week

Stepping It Up A Gear

As I'm sitting here typing & eating my Sun Bites Wholegrain Snacks (bursting with the goodness of wholegrains @ 131 cal & .6g sat fat per bag) I'm making a promise to myself that I will step it up a gear!

If I'm totally honest, I think I've been doing ok with regard to eating. Just ok, not good or great and I certainly know I can do a whole lot better. Better healthy choices, better portion sizes, better variety. So I've bought a smaller dinner plate and I'm starting to plan my food / keep a journal again.

With regard to exercise, my effort is zero! I keep saying I'll wait till the weather gets better and then get out walking. I do get out maybe once, twice a week but I could be doing a whole lot better with this.

It's less than 4 weeks till my birthday and I'd love to reach my first mini-target of 199lb by then. That's about 7lb. I know it's doable but I'm not sure I can do it, such is my motivation. However, I am working on this and I will give it a go. I owe it to myself and my girls.

New Year - New Start

My 40th birthday is 15 April 2011.

That gives me 16 months to turn my life around and for some reason I really believe that this time I can do it

January 2009 I weighed 224 lb. January 2010 I weigh 202 lb.

Not bad considering I had a baby 4 weeks ago today! I lost 11lb before I got pg and I lost the remaining during / after pg. My current primary aim is to stay at this weight in the coming weeks and not creep back up to my pre-pg weight!

I have suspended my gym membership until April, so I plan to start walking again as a gentle form of exercise. I've recovered well from the c-section but I still need to get the all clear from my doctor as I had a little heart scare 24 hrs after the op. They thought I had a blood clot or 'stress on the heart' (possible heart attack) but after ECG and a series of blood tests I got the all clear. Just need to take things easy at the minute.

My eating over Christmas hasn't been too bad but I can't lapse back into my bad habits. I need to get organised and starting Monday I will ...

1) Watch what I eat
2) Plan my meals
3) Drink plenty of water
4) Keep a food journal

Back On Track

I'm feeling positive this week.  Back to 214 lb.

I will be going to the gym this afternoon and hopefully tomorrow evening.  Then again one other time before the week is out.  So no excuse to meet my 3x weekly objective!

I've not started logging my food again so I need to start this.  It will be easier when I'm back at work tomorrow.  Ditto for drinking water.  I have been drinking it, just not logging how many oz.

I've been off work from 10th April and it's been great.  Quality time with the family.  Trips to the farm, the park, feeding the ducks, collecting shells, reading books.  BBQs.  Chocolate.  2hr naps.

So, normality returns tomorrow and strangely enough, I'm ready for it.  A new haircut & colour and an eyebrow wax has helped!  

Caitlin is back to school and I'm back to work and it's a busy week for us all.  The girls had GB Display rehearsal last night, dress rehearsal tonight and the actual Display on Friday.  Caitlin has gymnastics on Thursday evening and possibly a competition on Saturday (so we may have to drop football on Saturday morning).

So I'm forging onwards and aiming to drop 4lb in the coming weeks.  That is my goal.

Ugh

I’m not happy with my body. 

 

I’m annoyed at myself for letting it get in this shape and I really hope it’s not too late to change.

 

I weighed in at 215lb this morning, so I’m still down about 9lb from January.  I’ve not been to the gym over the Easter period and I’ve not been logging my food. 

 

Maybe this lapse is the reason why I’m feeling a bit down with my self image.  Also, it was my birthday yesterday.  I’m not usually worried about gaining another year but maybe this is adding to the blues too?!

Doesn't Time Fly!

I haven’t been around in a while but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy!

I’m still going to the gym, usually 3 times a week.  I now do about 45 mins cardio and then about 15 mins on three of the resistance machines working the large muscle groups.  I push myself hard when doing cardio and can now feel the difference.  This is something I’m very happy with.

I guess the surprise is that I actually enjoy going to the gym!  I enjoy getting out of the house in the evening instead of vegging in front of the TV.  I enjoy the spring in my step I have when I come out of the gym.  I enjoy getting showered & dressed in peace & quite and not having little ones around my feet wanting to do their make up or play with the hairdryer, hell even joining you in the shower!

Still off the cigarettes and I think I can now say I’m over them.  It was easier than I thought it would be.  I was back on them for about a year, after stopping for 6+ years so maybe that helped.  I just needed the willpower to do it and the start of the New Year gave me that.

I have seen 214 lb on the scales a few times recently, so I guess that is my new weight!  Down 10lb from January.  I am happy with that because I know I’m doing it the right way.  Slow & steady.

I have even started wearing my wedding & engagement ring together again.  This was a mini goal of mine, as my fingers were too pudgy before and as a result I only wore my wedding ring.  I just have to get use to putting them both on in the morning!

I’m still drinking water every day, a bit less just the past few days but now I’ve noted it, I can address that.  I’m still frequenting livestrong and journaling my food, again a bit less just the past few days! 

These little lapses, along with not blogging, are due to real life being busy just recently but normal service should now resume!

Another Day Done

Completed food diary, did the vibroplate and drank my water yesterday as planned.  Success.

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Calorie goal: 1,925; calories consumed: 1,532; calories burned: 0
Net calories: 1,532

Mood: Good

Today, I feel... like I can try harder. I know I can't get to the gym tonight, so I really need to keep an eye on what I eat. I will try to go to the VibroPlate tonight (it's only 10 mins).

Plus point - ordered 'portion pots'
Lesson learned - drinking more water means more frequent loo trips!

Although it says I burned 0 calories yesterday I did use the vibroplates, I know you don't burn lots of calories but my arms and legs to ache afterwards, so it must do some good!

I ordered the Portion Pots yesterday and I'm hoping they help me with portion control.  I am continuing to feel upbeat and positive this week (but it is only Wednesday!).  

Off to the gym tonight.

Livestrong.com

Must give credit to my virtual diet buddy Deirdre for bringing this site to my attention.

I only signed up on Sunday night and I’m hooked already! Even if I don’t use all areas of it, I’m loving the ‘The Daily Plate’ function. It is a bit of pain having to enter in all the food you eat but well worth it in the end. It also helps me achieve my goal of writing down everything I eat!

If you want to look me up - belfastbabybear

This is from the site :

Monday, March 9th, 2009
Calorie goal: 1,925; calories consumed: 2,456; calories burned: 667Net calories: 1,789

Mood: Good

Today, I feel...hungry. Always happens when I want to start fresh again! I tried hard to snack healthy but blew it when it came to dinner. Too much pasta and could have made if a low fat, healthier option.

Plus point - I did get to the gym!

Lesson learnt - I need to order 'portion pots’

'You may delay, but time will not'. (Benjamin Franklin)

Last week was a busy week so I didn't get to update.  I am also sitting here thinking that I wasted time, I wasted a week.  No matter the excuse, the week has passed by and I'm no further on in my weightloss journey.  Need to step it up a gear!

Monday I weighed in and was down 2lb, yay me!  I went to the gym on Monday night and did my usual routine.  Unfortunately I never got back to the gym the rest of the week.  

Tuesday night was GB night for the girls and I just couldn't make the time.  Wednesday night I was at the Grand Opera House to see David Essex in All The Fun Of The Fair (brilliant to hear all his old hits again!).  Thursday night I wanted to spend with Caitlin as she was going into hospital the following day for an operation to get vents in her ears.  Friday we were at the hospital all day and taking care of Caitlin in the evening.  Saturday we took the girls to Build A Bear (whoever thought of this idea must be a millionaire!) and today I took the girls to an indoor play centre.

So there you have it.  Normal service must resume next week.  

I must keep a food diary this week to get me back on track again.

I must get to the gym at least 3 times this week.  

I must eat healthily and make healthy choices.

I must drink plenty of water.  

I must think positive.

Excitement @ the Gym

I went last night even though my energy levels were low (as a result of the tummy bug).

I managed 30 mins treadmill, 10 mins bike and 5 mins stepper. I really pushed myself on the treadmill – highest level yet, most calories burned, highest gradient etc. – yet strangely, I enjoyed it!

Anyway, the excitement came in the form of 4 fully uniformed Firemen!!!

Still don’t know why they put in an appearance at the gym at 9pm but it brightened up my workout nonetheless!

Sssshh!

I have another weigh in approaching (Monday) and as usual I'm not looking forward to it.  I did have a blip a few weeks back when the kids were away and I think I put about 3lb back on.  So if I've maintained for the month of February, whilst not happy about it - I'll have to accept it!

I got to the gym last Friday and even made it into the health spa!  I sat in the steam room for a good while, followed by a brief jacuzzi and then out.  I enjoyed the diversity.

This week I went to the gym on Monday.   Still pushing for 30 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 5 mins arm cycle and 3 mins wave or stepper.  It works out about an hour long session, with time to move from machine to machine & catch my breath in between.  But is this enough?  Should I be aiming for more?  I try and aim for 3 gym session per week.  I couldn't really find the time for anymore!

Last night, because time was an issue, I opted for 12 mins on the VibroPlate.  It's meant to be the same as one hour in the gym.  I would disagree to some extent but I did feel it in my leg muscles and believe it must be an added bonus if I work it into with my trips to the gym.

Tonight, because of a tummy bug, I didn't dare leave the house for the gym!

OK, its been a while, a week and as the saying goes … ‘a lot can happen in one week’

Caitlin was on mid-term holidays last Thursday & Friday and rather than book holidays from work, my mum offered to take the girls to stay over.  As an added bonus, my sister pitched in and I didn’t get the girls back until Sunday afternoon!

It was as if someone had given us a romantic weekend break, just husband & me.  Thursday evening we went on a date!  We went for a bite to eat and to the cinema.  I can’t remember the last time we went to the cinema or even what we went to see.  This time round we opted for Milk with Sean Penn.  Fantastic, a bit long but Mr. Penn’s performance was amazing, truly believable.

Friday we hit the gym!  I managed 30 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 5 mins arm cycle and 3 mins wave machine.  Afterwards we jumped on a bus and headed into town for more food washed down with lots of drinks.  We were like teenagers again!  

Saturday, I went to an all day scrapbooking crop – my idea of heaven!  Sunday we collected the kids and just relaxed!

Monday we were all back to normal with school & work.  Ivan was having a sleepover that evening at a friend’s house after attending a funeral.  While I played Nurse Maid to Caitlin who was up during the night ill, I was exhausted the next morning.  Tuesday my exhaustion continued into the evening and I couldn’t force myself to go to the gym.  Disappointing really, as I hadn’t been from Friday.

Last night I forced myself out to the gym.  I managed 20 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike and 5 mins arm cycle.  I pushed myself on the levels of resistance etc. and definitely broke a sweat!  I had hoped to go into the spa afterwards, even packing my costume but I just couldn’t pluck up the courage.  A lot of the younger (read thinner/fitter/healthier) girls had just come out of the kickboxing class and were floating about.  I would have felt really uncomfortable sitting in the Jacuzzi or steam room with them!

My Body Is (Starting To Be) My Temple

Monday when I weighed myself I discovered that I maintained my weight, which I think was excellent progress considering the absence of any real exercise last week, the increase in alcohol at the weekend and the appearance of AF on Sunday.

I went to the gym Monday night. Puffed my way though:
15 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 10 mins wave machine, 5 mins arm-cycle thing, 15 mins treadmill again

I went to the gym Tuesday night. Puffed my way though:
20 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 5 mins arm-cycle thing

My objective in the gym is to see how long I can last without my face going purple! I am building up slowly. Compared to my first visit, I can see a little improvement.

That Was The Week That Was ….

Covered in a blanket of snow, rendering me unable to get out to the gym!

Now, I know that sounds like a typical excuse but it’s true. I went to the gym on Monday evening, enjoyed it and promised to return 2/3 times during the week.

However the Snow Gods threw down buckets of the stuff; along with rain, sleet and freezing temperatures turning the roads around where I live into a beautiful ice track! I am now more appreciative of the ‘Ice Road Truckers’.

I didn’t make it to the gym the rest of the week but I’m going to try and make up for it this week.

It was also my mum’s birthday at the weekend. She came down for a ‘sleepover’. The girls and I had a little birthday cake and sweet treats for her, then Ivan babysat and I took her out for dinner & drinks. Good adult company! We both needed it and have promised to do it again, soon.

Lastly, I was "smoke-free" for over 5 weeks at the weekend !!!!!

Oh my! I Stood On The Scales This Morning

And got the fright of my life. Down 5 lb. Yay me!

Now, I'm sensible enough to know that it wasn't all achieved last week. That my trip to the gym alone didn't result in this loss. Or that swapping to herbal tea and running to the loo every 5 minutes hasn't meant that I'm peeing away my body weight!

No, I believe it's a combination of all of the above, along with my healthy choices regarding food.

Just think what I could achieve if I tried harder.

Can I try harder? Do I have what it takes? The million dollar question.

I honestly don't know the answer but I'm going to keep trying.

One Month Down

I've been at it nearly a month now and I'm pleased with my efforts to date.

I've been off the cigarettes 4 weeks now

I've joined a gym

I've actually attended said gym

I've had my hair done

Ive bought new clothes

I've made it through a Workout DVD, more than once!

I've discovered Herbal Teas

I've tried a few new recipes this month

Next month will be better.  I predict that I'll have seen some lbs lost and will have found it easier in the gym.  I'll have had a night out with husband and I'll have had some fun times with the girls.