Do You Like Who You've Become?

"Do You Like Who You've Become?

I can honestly say, No!

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I repulse myself. With regards to diet, exercise and generally looking after myself - I suck. I lie, cheat & let myself down.

Tonight I think it finally came to a head when I stood on the scales and set a new 'all time heaviest' record.

I want more for myself, I want more for Ivan & the girls.

The way I see it, there are 3 areas of my life that currently need urgent attention :-

1) Me, Myself & I
2) My home
3) My relationships

If I can work on the first two, the third will look after itself!

I mean, if I lose weight, get healthy and start taking a pride in my appearance - I'll be happy & confident. If I pay more attention to housework & home improvements - Ivan will be happy. Don't get me wrong, my house isn't bad, it's just that I do the bear minimum to get by these days. I show no interest.

So, I am really wishing that this is it.

I really want to have the power to change the things I'm not happy with. I want to look forward. I want to be happy & like who I've become.

Not too much to ask."

I first posted this in March 2007 and I'm ashamed to say nothing much has changed today!  This time, however, I will make a difference, I will succeed ...

My new 'healthy living' starts on Monday and in a strange way I'm looking forward to it.  I'm sick of all the eating and drinking that took place over the festive period.  

I'm starting by planning out my food intake for the week and then going shopping for healthy alternatives tomorrow.

I'm going to increase my water intake this week, lots of hot water & lemon (my liver could do with the cleansing!).

I'm going to get more active, at least 3 times, this week.

I'm stopping smoking.