Kids Birthday Cards

Kids Birthday Cards
Originally uploaded by belfastbabybear.

Kids Birthday Cards

Kids Birthday Cards
Originally uploaded by belfastbabybear.

Made some kids cards at a class last week. I just love them! They are so bright & cheery.

Kids Birthday Cards

Kids Birthday Cards
Originally uploaded by belfastbabybear.

Red Nose Day 2007

Red Nose Day 2007
Originally uploaded by belfastbabybear.

Last Friday we had a fancy dress day in work to raise money for Red Nose Day! Good laugh had by all and we raised over £500 at the same time.

Do You Like Who You've Become?

I can honestly say, No!

I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I repulse myself. With regards to diet, exercise and generally looking after myself - I suck. I lie, cheat & let myself down.

Tonight I think it finally came to a head when I stood on the scales and set a new 'all time heaviest' record.

I want more for myself, I want more for Ivan & the girls.

The way I see it, there are 3 areas of my life that currently need urgent attention :-

1) Me, Myself & I
2) My home
3) My relationships

If I can work on the first two, the third will look after itself!

I mean, if I lose weight, get healthy and start taking a pride in my appearance - I'll be happy & confident. If I pay more attention to housework & home improvements - Ivan will be happy. Don't get me wrong, my house isn't bad, it's just that I do the bear minimum to get by these days. I show no interest.

So, I am really wishing that this is it.

I really want to have the power to change the things I'm not happy with. I want to look forward. I want to be happy & like who I've become.

Not too much to ask.

A funny "Caitlin" story

I could write a book full of the funny things Caitlin says & does! This one happened last Friday night ...

We went out to dinner and when I was paying the bill the waitress gave Caitlin a lollipop. I took it off her and said she'd get it when we get home & Lauren was in bed as I didn't want a major screaming match in the back of the car!

We were in the car driving home and Caitlin said "Mum, what's your phone number?"

I made up a random phone number and she repeated it saying ...

Caitlin - "Mummy, you're going to get a call"
Me - "Who from?"
Caitlin - "God"
Me - "Why is God going to call me?"
Caitlin - "He is going to tell you to give me my lollipop back"

She then went on to say to herself quietly "God that was mums number, ring her and tell her. I know you are listening, like you always do!"

Now that in itself was funny but I know the logic behind it which to me, was hysterical.


Earlier in the day, Caitlin said that a friend in Nursery school was getting her to say bad words, like 'for fucks sake'. I went on to tell her that even if I wasn't there or even if the teacher couldn't hear, she shouldn't use words like this as God would always be listening!

Clever girls obviously took all this in and tried to use it against me, lol.

Maybe I Can

just turn this old, bad, shitty, life-style around.

I ate well all day to day with a little help from my friends. In work I was a little snowed under and was going to skip lunch (or opt for something bad) when some of the girls came to my rescue and put a plate of chicken & ham salad in front of me! I was delighted, chuffed to bits. It was yummy and I ate the lot.

Made me think how easy it was to prepare something fresh and healthy in work. I'll have to treat them back, that's a promise.

When I got home I made a lovely prawn salad for Ivan and I, so I'm keeping up with the healthy eating, for today anyway.

Have to admit my legs ache a little from the walking yesterday but I guess that is only to be expected. I haven't exercised in god knows how long. I deserve any pain I get in the initial stages. Planning on getting out tomorrow or Friday. Now I've put it in writing, don't let me back out - ask me, pester me to get out their and walk, please!



Also in work today, I got another wonderful surprise from my two buddies (my fellow Golden Girls), they have arranged to take me to dinner and a show in June. We are going to see Blood Brothers and not only that, we are in a box !!!!! La-de-da x

Got off my lazy ass ...

and went walking for 90 mins tonight! Go, me.

Have to admit, I really enjoyed it. I listened to Madonna on the iPod and kept a brisk pace through out. The route I took had lots of inclines, my face was purple after but hell, that's what it's all about. Me.

My goal is to do this route in reverse by the end of March. At the end there is a big, massive, steep hill. Well, it's steep for me. Even if there were half naked hunks waiting with oxygen bottles at the top, I'm in no state to attempt it yet!

Now I've been back home a while, my legs ache and my Akilies tendons hurt like hell (you know the thing above your heel, at the back of your ankle). I guess that's because they haven't been put to use in a while, maybe they've ceased up? They hurt to touch and hurt to move. However, I promise I will push myself through the pain barrier!

Drank a little water today, not nearly enough but more than yesterday.
Ate a little better today. Better than yesterday. Besides a few pancakes (Pancake Tuesday) (at home & in work) I ate healthy options and thought about what I was eating.

Maybe things are looking up? Maybe I'm taking myself a little more seriously!

Damned if you do & Damned if you don't

I hate the debate about 'Size 0' and the fact that the media portray it being the best thing since sliced bread.

Media moguls are more than responsible for fueling the debate by continually printing photos of these super-slim models/actresses.

I do believe that there is more than enough industry pressure on the models to look this way. The blame also has to lie with the bookers, designers, photographers etc. The girls are just giving them want they want.

Then you have the icons of the young and impressionable who go out of their way to look this thin. Mostly the actresses & Posh Spice! This lot I just don't understand.

So you can imagine my disgust when I opened 'OK' magazine today which had an article on Celeb Weight Battles! It did 'then' and 'now' photos of Jessica Simpson, Coleen McLoughlin, Kelly Osbourne, Martine McCutcheon & Rachel Stevens. The snippets beside the photos said things like 'the TV presenter managed to lose 2 1/2 stone over the last year, but it looks as if the old Kelly is slowly creeping back again!' or ' Self-confessed dieter Martine managed to go down from a size 14 to 10, but despite her good intentions, she has filled out."

WTF!

Take 3 things ...

I know that this is all it takes to get my ass in gear and start losing weight but why, oh why, can't I get my shit together and do them all together, at once, every day?

I need to get my lazy ass in gear and exercise
I need to eat healthy
I need to drink more water

I start the week with good intentions but by Wednesday they've all up'd and left me. I can only manage one of the above at any given time. How crap is that?

I'm a grown woman, with a full time job and two kids under 5, ffs!

I'm meant to be able to multi-task. That's that's a skill we're born with. I mean, we can all juggle x-amount of tasks per day but throw in some exercise & healthy eating and I'm as much use as a chocolate tea pot.

That is why things have got to change. I will be honest with myself from here on in, I will make more of an effort. At the end of the day, I'm doing it all for me. No-one else, just me.

I need to get healthy, I need to be able to run about with the kids without keeling over. I need to be able to walk into a shop and buy clothes off the peg. I need to be able to feel comfortable with myself when I look in the mirror and not despise the image looking back at present. I need to feel happy & confident in the company of others. I need to be able to wear a swimsuit and not want a wave to wash me out to sea. I need to be able to see my face & neck again and not the person with all the folds of skin and multiple chins I see at present. I need to learn how to love 'me' again.



So today, the truth and nothing but the truth from here on in ::

I went walking today. Only 30 mins of risk walking, pushing a buggy but it was exercise none the less. I eat like a pig all day and I don't think a drop of water passed my lips.

Kelis - Lil Star

I cannot get this song out of my head at the minute. I love the tune but the words are so special ...

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If it seems like I'm shining brightly
It's probably a reflection of something you already are
I forget about myself sometime
When there's so many other around
When deep inside you feels darkest
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found
That is where I can always be found

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
If you try to reach out an touch me
you'll see I'm not really that far
I may not be the brightest nor am I the last one you’ll see
But as long as you notice, that’s just fine with me
Everything’s just fine with me
Everything’s just fine with me

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner or later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

There is nothing special about me
I am just a lil star
I’ve been running and jumping, but barely
Getting, getting over the bar
I plan on being much more than I, am but that's in do time
But until then I'm guilty, and being humans my crime
Being human that is my crime
Being human that is my crime

Just keep trying and trying
It's just a matter of timing
Though the grinding is tiring
Don't let 'em stop you from smiling
Just keep trying and trying
Sooner of later you'll find it
It's surprising how inspiring
It is to see you shining
Cause in the dark of the night you're all i can see
and you sure look like a star to me

That Was The Week That Was

The start of the week seems so long ago, I can only presume it passed by without event!

The only thing of any note was that I'd gained 2lb when I stood on the scales on Monday morning. No surprise there then!

Things took a major turn on Thursday evening when Lauren had a tumble and fell head first onto the edge of the marble fireplace. I just can't put into words what I felt at that moment. Ivan got to her first and she was screaming the place down. I grabbed her and checked for damage. When I noticed her head I let out a scream but then I remembered I was the "Mom" therefore I had to stay in control, keep calm and sort it out.

It's strange but something just comes over you and you spring into action, knowing what to do. Whilst checking over and calming Lauren I got Ivan to get a damp cloth. During all this poor Caitlin was sitting on the floor in floods of tears. I tried my best to reassure her and asked her to put her shoes on . I knew a trip to A&E was essential!

The first hospital, the one only 5 minutes away from our house, was closed! Yes. It closes at 5pm. So we had to drive onto the Children's Hospital were she was checked over and x-rayed. The poor mite was doing her best and kept saying "Hello" to all the medical staff and even said "Cheese" when they were doing her x-ray!

They thought there was a small hairline fracture but after three 2nd opinion's, it was cleared and we were allowed home. I had to keep checking on her through the night so she slept with me. When I spoke to my boss, she was great. Told me to stay at home on Friday and look after Lauren.

Friday night we went to a friends house (with the girls in tow). Just went for a few house & a few drinks. Taxi home. Somewhere between friends, taxi and our house I lost my mobile phone. Don't you just hate that?! I cannot remember half the number on there and I'll not remember what's missing until I need to ring someone. Oh! I'd also stored my credit card pin numbers on there, clever I know!

Saturday & Sunday were quiet compared to Thursday & Friday. Didn't go over the door unless we had to. The girls got a lovely parcel from friends in Canada on Saturday, so that kept Caitlin busy for a while. I've a few bits & pieces to send out but was waiting for payday! Sometimes the cost of mailing is more that the value of the goods inside.

Anyway, that week is over. This week is just starting. I wonder what it will bring?

Scrapaholics

Went to class last night and we worked on little 6 x 6 canvas blocks. Made these really cute picture frames, although not yet finished, you get the idea!





I'm thinking of joining them together to hang on the wall in the kids bedroom, not sure yet!

Caitlin spotted them first thing this morning when she came downstairs and said "Oh mummy! They are beautiful, I love when you go to school and do craft of me!"

Added A New Feature To My Blog

A Guest Map.



If you have a minute, I'd love for you to click & enter your details.

Please & Thank You xx

Scrappers Block!

Yep!

If I was a Doctor, that's what I would officially say I've got, "Scrappers Block"

I sat the other night for 3 - 4 hours and did nothing but a few teeny-tiny embellishments on a little 3 x 3 book I'd made a few weeks back.

The 'Book' closed (it's just one single sheet of 12 x 12 card)









Oh yes, I did get out all my stash, I did lay it all out on the table. I looked and touched up all my card and paper stock. I sorted through my embellishments & ribbons. I worked out that I had sticky pads, glue dots, roller glue & double sided tape. I had scissors, punches & staples but because of the lack of any decent fuc$ing photos, I couldn't even muster a single page layout!

So I then packed everything away nice & neat, in it's place, in it's box, in order!

I called a family meeting with husband & two daughters and decided that no matter the weather this weekend (and I might just add that it is blowing a gale here recently!), we were going out & about so I may take some fantastic photos, that I will later turn into super-duper layouts! However the weather got the better of us and we didn't venture over the door today.

Better luck tomorrow.

WooHoo, we got a new car!

Went looking on Saturday and put down a deposit. Should be picking it up tomorrow or Wednesday.

I cannot wait, I hate driving that unsafe, piece of crap we have now!

We are getting a VW Passat 1.9 TDI

Pass The Turkey

Yesterday afternoon we all packed up and headed up to my mum & dads for Christmas Dinner.

Yes, Christmas Dinner!

My parents went on holiday to Tenerife over Christmas & New Year only arriving back on Saturday morning. So my mum had planned to have us all up for dinner, that way she wouldn't miss out. Why she put herself through the stress of cooking all that food, I'll never know.

There was 7 adults & 5 kidlets, crackers, party hats and dinner with all the trimmings! Yummy, didn't help the diet much but I refused the crackers & cheese and the chocolates.

Poor Caitlin was confused as my two sisters, one brother & I were handing over Christmas gifts to our parents and they were handing out holiday presents to the grandkids. lol! Poor child thought it was Christmas day again & no-one had told her!

Lauren had a blast. She just tore through the house chasing the older girls.

I love seeing the kids all together.

Families. I know they can be a touchy subject but times like yesterday make me appreciate mine even more.

Weekly Summary

Started back to work on Tuesday. Not so bad. Very busy and as usual not enough hours in the day! This month shouldn't be too bad. There is a couple of travel shows coming up over the next three weekends and various staff will be attending, making the office that bit quieter. I must be getting old as at was only a few years ago, I'd have attended all these shows (on your feet all day smiling & being nice, partying hard in the evening on the Company credit card and back on your stand early the next morning trying to drum in more business!).

I also started upping my water intake this week. No less than 1 litre a day, sometimes 2. I'm quite please with this and find it easier than I thought. I'm also trying to drink hot water & lemon through the day and cut way back on the coffee.

I've booked my induction at the Gym for next Thursday evening. They were booked up until then! Obviously everyone and their mother want to get fit in the New Year. This gym is a 'normal' gym, not for the 'Beautiful People'. You know the ones who arrive in the latest gym gear and full make-up, then run for miles, all the while looking in the mirror at themselves and not shedding one drop of sweat! The 'Beautiful People' are the ones that put me to shame and make me feel inadequate. God love them, it's not their fault! They don't even know the impact they are having on my confidence.

Food has been my big issue this week. Whilst I've made some healthy food choices, I've also made some stinkers! Only myself to blame. I need to get to grips with this and start writing down what I'm eating. I need to make more of an effort here or I will never see the positive results I want to achieve.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year & Best Wishes for 2007

Possibly TTC, if I can convince Ivan!

Well, the title says it all really.

He is not saying an outright NO! but he is not sure if he is ready/wants for any more kids. He thinks we are just about coping at the minute with both of us in full-time jobs and childcare always an issue. I can see were he is coming from but to behonest I'd love another baby to complete our family.

The funny thing is we had such a stressful Christmas, first with the mouse, then the car breaking down and being off the road for a week, then with Lauren being so sick and then with both girls having 'cabin fever' and going crazy. He just kept saying to me "And you want another one!"

We talked about it again last night and have decided that we'll wait and see what happens in the next few months before talking again.

We need to change our car immediately and the house is too small for another child as we have only two bedrooms, although we had talked about moving this year anyway.

So we'll see what 2007 brings.